“Children ought not to be victims of the choices adults make for them,”
It’s been quite some time since my last post and there’s been a reason for that. Survival. I’ve spent the past few months surviving the post apocalyptic fall out of a pending divorce.
The main fall out has been in the shape of my 11 year old. The one thing I dreaded from all of our adult inability to make things work was the effect on our children. Unfortunately, it seems we haven’t protected the children as much as we should have.
To see your own flesh and blood clearly suffering from his lack of understanding of the choices that his parents have made on his behalf is soul destroying. To be the main outlet of his frustration is even more soul destroying.
I love my son. My first born, my only boy. In his young life he has gone through so much. Losing his beloved aunt when he was only 2.5 years old and now the separation of his parents. These changes have had a profound effect on his ability to deal. He struggles with change, every new school year became a battle for the first 2 weeks, until he finally accepted the change.
I’ve seen my sweet, sensitive little boy change into an overweight, sad and angry pre teen since the marriage breakdown. I’ve found myself seeking help for him – both from the GP and his school. As an education professional myself I never thought I would need to enlist help with my own children.
This has become a learning curve for me. As a single mother to four vulnerable children has meant that I have to use all my power to shield them from the issues that are not their problem. I’ve found myself doing this alone, mainly because those who should help are struggling to accept their role in his behaviour. Professionals are pushing us from pillar to post.
As his mother I KNOW there is an issue, and I will continue to push until someone gives us some answers, some ideas on how we can re set life enough for him to feel safe and calm enough to return to being my happy little boy again.
This is so much tougher than going through a divorce. Watching your flesh and blood suffer because of something out of your control is extremely difficult, but I am determined I will mend my broken child. I will not raise him to be a broken man.