Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren’t completely embarrassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow’s embarrassment? ~ Tom Cruise
Yesterday got out of hand and for that I apologise. I apologise to every single person who had the misfortune of witnessing my social media suicide. I never thought I would stoop to that level, but when you hit the bottom there is nowhere else to go.
What did we do before social media? Why do we feel the need to broadcast our every issue on various platforms? We would never have opened our front door and shouted to the neighbours what we had for tea that day or what our current relationship status was so why do we do it when we can hide behind a computer screen?
A good friend made me realise that the issue with social media is that it is a constant reminder of your indiscretions and one day my children could easily scroll back through and see me saying unnecessary things about their father. When parents separate they get so bogged down in each other and forget that their main job is being a parent. I never thought I’d be facing divorce so I never really thought about how I would handle it and last night made me realise I am approaching it all wrong.
It is so hard to keep it together when you’re falling apart inside. When you feel unloved, unwanted and rejected by the only person who gave you meaning. Social media should have a mood test – heartbroken? Sorry you can’t log in today. Drunk? Sorry not a chance you are getting in here. You just want someone else to hurt as much as you do and what better way than broadcasting to hundreds of people their indiscretions? Well, a better way is learning to move on and be better than they are, show them that you are someone beyond Mummy and (ex) wife, but ensuring that you do not cross the disrespectful line for another human being and pray that they have the common courtesy to do the same for you.
Social media has created so many horrific scenarios for so many people but it can also offer so much love and support in the lowest of times. I need to take the support and love, and remember that having a media breakdown is not big or clever. I am truly grateful for every person who has messaged me to offer their love and support in a time that is so much more horrific than I could ever ever imagine. But there are 2 of us hurting (I think) so make sure that support spans that gap, we both need love and support, and we both need to treat each other in private and social media the way we would not mind our children reading when they can understand.
My social media suicide happened and luckily I was not as successful as I could’ve been. I’ve had my wake up call and embarrassed the pants off myself.
Don’t commit social media suicide – stop and think about how you would feel if your child read what you are bashing on that keyboard. Conduct yourself as you wish to be treated and do not allow a public forum to create a side of you that would not normally exist in public
On the subject of last night – I want to thank J for being there and the Junies/work friends/friends/family for their kind words and understanding when I was having my meltdown. And to all those I panicked and upset – I’m sorry. And finally to you sir, your headspace is yours – don’t mess with mine anymore and I won’t mess with yours – and that way we will come out of the other side in tact.
I will get through this – I don’t know how at the moment as the pain is too strong, but one day I will look back at my squeaky bum cringe post and give myself a slap. Here’s hoping anyway.